It seems like these last couple of months I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Some days are better then others...we should all feel bad for Brandon ;)
It's always been hard for me to make decisions, especially decisions that have to do with our future. My way of figuring it all out is turn to my faith. I have faith that there is a plan for us all but sometimes that plan isn't so clear. That's were I get confused. One day I think we are suppose to do one thing and then the next day I think something else. I am so afraid that I am going to make the wrong decision and screw everything up.
I have always been connected to the song, For me This Is Heaven by Jimmy Eat World.
Especially the part
"If I don't let myself be happy now then when?"
If not now when?
So that's what I am going to concentrate on. Being happy. And hopefully I will figure it out.
"For Me This Is Heaven"
The first star I see may not be a star.
We can't do a thing but wait.
So let's wait for one more.
The time such clumsy time in deciding if it's time.
I'm careful but not sure how it goes.
You can loose yourself in your courage.
The mindless comfort grows when I'm alone with my 'great' plans.
This is what she says gets her through it:
"If I don't let myself by happy now then when?"
If not now when?
When the time we have now ends.
When the big hand goes round again.
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
Close my eyes and believe wherever you are, an angel for me.
2 comments:
good luck with your decision.
i feel sick about making big decisions too and sometimes it helps (me anyway) to remember most of the time whatever the options are, ther eis not such a TERRIBLE decision to make that would ruin our lives and if one did lead that way, I knoew our Lord would help us steer clear of it (unless there was a lesson in it for us).
I think sometimes we kinda overrate this whole "plan" idea. I mean, I never thought I'd be where I am in my life right now. I never thought the 2 and a half years after my mission would suck soooo bad. But it's OK, you know. I think a lot of what God wants us to accomplish happens when we do what we most want to do---whatever that may be. Because deep down, we ARE light and truth, we can trust ourselves. The problem I've encountered is deprogramming myself from the false stuff the world, society and my parents (not intentionaly)have taught me. And, you know what, even if you screw up big-time, like I have, it'll be OK. it's really not that big a deal. So what that I'll be old man(27-28) by the time i'm done with school? Why is that ACTUALLY a big deal? I can think of all kinds of answers, but they ultimately don't REALLY matter. But boy, a lot of people (and devils) sure have tried to convince me it does. My point is you'll do fine, what ever your thinking about, if you keep it real. I believe in you guys, and I love the Lowes!
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